How do I put it on my face?
A guide to guides
** Free workshop on The Architectures of Endings November 12th — info @ bottom! **
Last week I was on the phone with my friend Jenny. She was telling me she had decided that after three plus decades of having nothing whatsoever to do with makeup (shocker — she was too busy climbing absolutely insane mountains and being a monster who never gets blisters) she was now newly intrigued.
Or more accurately Instagram marketing had finally coerced her into thinking that this was something she should know about.
I told her to not worry, my wife knew things, and she should bring her newly acquired makeup over for dinner on Sunday.
While the rest of us feel inundated and overwhelmed by the amount of information out there, my wife is an expert in internet research.
She has the ability to spend one hour and feel very confident that she has identified what is important and has a plan to move forward (while I, after a mere five minutes, have thrown my phone out the window due to total system overload).
Come Sunday I found two goobers trying on makeup in the hallway with the good lighting and the big mirror.
Danielle had brought out her four products, showed Jenny her two minute routine, and then said “Well, that is literally all I know because I just started wearing makeup last year, and have only watched three very short Hailey Bieber videos, and thus that is the extent of my knowledge.”
And let me tell you, Danielle was absolutely the right person for the job.
Because did Jenny need a 14 step, thousand dollar regimen from a woman at Sephora with 3-inch long eyelashes and an hour and a half dedicated to both her morning and evening skincare processes?
No she did not.
This reminded me of when I first started dating women in 2021, and I would have weekly calls with my friend CJ, who was only a few months ahead of me on said journey.
The calls went something like this: “What do I do with my hands?” “Just let her go first then do what she does.” (Such absurd, yet infinitely sage, middle school advice.)
I did not call my friend who had been out and about for decades because it would have been like trying to get a fish to tell you about the water they were swimming in.
And all of this, it has me thinking about the types of guides we need in our experiences.
Because our people will often need help. Someone to lean on, or lead the way, or call when the going gets rough, or when we get confused, or if we’re lost in the dark.
And it turns out that on the guide front, it’s not always the wiser the better, or the more experienced the better.
Sometimes it’s the person 3 steps ahead, not 30.
So — what is the amount of distance between the guide and the guided that would most be in service of your humans?
Here’s how I’m thinking about it:
Lots of distance
When your people could do with big dreams and inspiration. The sense of safety that comes in knowing the guide has seen it all, been through it all, learned it all. A role model for “who I want to be someday.”
A lot less distance
When your people could do with someone super relatable. More like them then not. The safety of a person who gets you, who knows where you are, because they were there themselves not too long ago — but they’ve seen a little more now. A role model for “who I could be tomorrow.”
We’ll all always need help. So let’s bring in the right human to give it.
Your assignment, should you choose to play:
What are you designing — a family hike or a neighborhood block party or a big project meeting or a massive conference?
Which people might need guidance? What type of guidance? And what kind of guide might be best to hold their literal or metaphorical hand?
Yours, Olivia
P.S. Watch this incredible short film made by The North Face of Jenny and Kaytlyn’s high route escapade.
Upcoming free workshop:
🚪 The Architectures of Endings 🚪 (micro edition)
Of all the moments to invest in for whatever you’re designing, endings are some of the highest leverage. They change not only what comes after, but also have the power to transform everything that came before.
Last month in The Good Chaos Club, I hosted a deep dive into four different typologies of closings.
And now I’m running a lite version of it, for $free.99 for all the friends!
So come hang out and take a wander through all the ways we might close the things we’re building with a whole lot more OOMPH.
Wednesday November 12th @ 10 am PT